.last nite i made the decision to break up w/ my boyfriend although i love him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much and would, i’m sure, crawl to the edge of the earth for….but i just know that i can’t currently trust myself to do right by him. so instead of directing unneccessary hurt in his direction, i had to distance myself. clearly i will miss him all the time since he is obviously the most amazing person on the planet. i’m just too lustful i supose. fail.
.so….to clear my head.
.i’m going to spend the day at the aquarium. <3
I just wanted to comment on..
THE AQUARIUM! I love the places you explore! I haven’t been in so long it makes me sad cuz I think about the aquarium every now and again..
becoming anxious right now. I don’t know why. Picking my lips!
Oh my goodness. Having this Monday off feels awesome. 3 days is less than 4. I don’t count Friday as a day of class since I go from 9:30-10:20 and it’s English where we speak of Oscar Wilde’s works that we are reading! Love that class.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Still trying to be patient. PATIENCE!
Now it’s time to stop. I told myself to pace myself and look what I am doing. Temptation always gets the best of me. I just don’t want to lose the chance that I have right now. That is why. I have waited..waited and waited.. and WAITED! It’s finally here!!! but not really.. because I still have to wait more. It’s not here until some time passes some more.
just once and I know everything will change. I know it. so while I should be working on homework since I have work tonight.. I think of things I shouldn’t be
and I’m starting to talk like a weirdo AND don’t worry too much cuz I am paying attention to my homework because I started and got a lot done!
by the way, I’m now interviewing like 5 band managers =] hahha. I have to keep double looking them up because I forgot all the people I e-mailed.
I mean.. it would be nice to be honest with you and him and be like LOOK, I LOVE YOU. Will it ruin things with what he has now? Long-distance sucks and you know it. I wish I could help. This just seems impossible. What is best for you and him right now though? I guess it would be just staying friends and not letting him know how you feel. It could make things too complicated and in the end will probably hurt more then do good.
patience it’s awful it sucks but sometimes it’s the best choice
I really DON’T want to be involved in any of this but I DO! OMG I DO! This feeling when you see that person so that you can’t form words and you can’t think. You feel constantly nervous and when you look into their eyes and they look into yours YOU FEEL IT. It can’t be described but IT’S THAT FEELING. YOU KNOW IT TOO.
And for this feeling I am probably putting myself in a situation I don’t want to be in. I don’t like you. Everyone knows I do. haha.. I know I do.
Even through texts I get giddy and excited and I anxiously wait for a reply while my stomach has butterflies ALL UP IN IT. LOL
I want this feeling all the time. I am trying to hold back though. It’s too soon. I’m not sure if I want these feelings but they are undebatable. They are here. So I am dealing with them and trying to form some sort of messed up friendship.
I wish I had someone to talk to. Now I’m just talking to tumblr..